The visitor

Jump to Comments

A few days after my sister’s funeral, I stayed at my boyfriend, Dave’s house. Despite everything that had happened between us up to that point, he was such a good boyfriend to me after my sister died, not letting me spend a night alone for over a month.

We had gone to bed, and I was so exhausted- emotionally, physically, spiritually that I had no trouble sleeping. I’m normally a pretty sound sleeper, but something woke me up. I sat up, and I looked over at the door, which was wide open and the hall light was shining in on me. The sound of the door and the light woke me up. Sometimes the door opens on it’s own, but it needs pressure- like in the summertime when the windows are open and a breeze is coming in, or Kaia pushing herself in when she’s shut out. Dave was sound asleep next to me, and Kaia was snoring on the floor. I could hear Dave’s roommate sleeping in the next room. No one was up.

I looked to the corner of the bed and a figure was standing over me. It was very tall- maybe six feet. The figure looked like a demented drag queen trying to imitate Marilyn Monroe. I jumped and watched it for a moment. My heart was racing and I felt a panic attack coming on.

You’re just dreaming or hallucinating. Lie down and close your eyes and go back to sleep. You’re fine. I closed my eyes and tried to fall back asleep, after about 10 seconds I knew I was wide awake. If someone was in our room, we needed some saving. What if a mental patient escaped and he was there to kill us? I opened my eyes and sat up. He was still there. I watched him for a moment, he reached for me and I stifled a scream and turned and shook Dave awake.

“Dave! Someone is in our room, wake up!”

He immediately sat up, confused. As I was trying to tell him what was going on, I looked at the corner, he was still there.

I turned to Dave, pleading, “Can’t you see him?” I asked.

“See who?”

I turned around and he was gone.

“Never mind, I was dreaming. Go back to sleep.”

Dave immediately returned to sleep, but my body was in fight or flight mode. I got up for a glass of water and to use the restroom. When I returned to bed, my heart was still racing and I was trembling. I lied down, trying to stave off a panic attack, on the verge of tears. Was I going crazy? What’s wrong with me?

And then I felt her. I knew it was her. I could smell her and sense her energy. That light gentle sweetness about her. I felt so much love. The panic melted away, replaced by peace and I immediately fell into a restful sleep.

4 Comments

Filed under Family

Tags: grief, suicide